Fallen sick~

Something is definitely not right bout me.

left hand - CHECKED!
right hand - CHECKED!
body - CHECKED!
head - CHECKED!
left leg - CHECKED!
right leg - CHECKED!
eyes - CHECKED!
nose - CHECKED!
mouth - CHECKED!
ears - CHECKED!

Weird. I have everything in one complete piece.
But I just feel there's something NOT RIGHT bout me.


I need a doctor. A psychologist. I've found out my sickness is already.
Its mentally sickness.
My 'system' is corrupted or interrupted. I can't direct link files to files.
Sometimes I'll hang halfway, trying to process what the hell you're saying, and interpret it.
The links are getting more and more complicated, and there's more and more files.
My interpreting process has slowed down alot. I can't even find the RECYCLE BIN. Too much files!
And all the problems and errors, can't be recovered. It is damaged.
Family, love, money, friends. Problems of them are suppose to link together, but I can't seems to find the source of it anymore.
I don't wanna explain what kind of problems they are, but I only know I need a doctor.


I need a doctor. An eye specialist.
My eye muscles are weak, I can't focus on objects clearly.
Things I see sometimes will go black and white, a sudden color blind.
Due to mental issues, if there's alot of peeps in front of me, I will become lost.
I can't focus on everyone and I'll start looking around, became very panic.


I need a doctor. A heart specialist.
When I felt pressure, my heart will feel pressured as if there's tons of weights on it, and I can't breath properly.
Or after I do some exercise, I will feel the same way.
Occasionally, it happened during midnight, when I was asleep.
The pain is unbearable. Like you're in between life and death.
There was once, I entered hospital during Form 5. Whole class was shocked.
I went through alot of check ups to know what sickness I had.
Blood test, urine test, X-ray, Echo, I tried almost all.
The doctor came out with no solution or even a slight idea what's going on.
I gave up searching for the sickness I had.
That's why you peeps sees that I'm always relaxing for everything, pressure-free.
Cause if I feel pressure, my heart doesn't feel well.


Prays god will heal me~