Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Broken heart~

I'm hungry at the time 1:21 am

yet I still have my assignments to do
in fact it is the 3D drawing
which requires alot of brain usage
think think think~
but I couldn't think much.
I'm very sad.

My heart is broken into pieces
after hearing the truth from you.
I was fixing my heart till 1/2 already
and now it breaks into even smaller pieces
which I don't know how long I'm able to fix it anymore.
I felt heartless
because my tears falls without I feeling sad.
I heard lightning storms right outside
while I'm sitting on my balcony writing this.
The weather is super cold now
and I'm freezing.
I no longer felt the warmth within me.
Out of sudden, I just missed you
flashback on everything we've done.
why is this happening on me.

I noticed I've being emo for quite some time already
but I just couldn't help it.
It's because I like you a lot
that makes my heart broken.
You're my heart breaker, you know?
Blog can no longer become my secret hideout
because I know you'll read it when you're online.
So I'm back to be the old me once again
keeping all in,
without making anyone worries.

I'm feeling pressure in my heart
that makes me uneasy for the past 2 weeks.
Its suffering and pain
but I have to deal with it
its my heart after all.
I will be disappearing from you right now
because I felt uneasy if you're beside me
I will be jealous
I will feel the broken heart of mine
I will feel pain either.
You've done nothing wrong
just that I'm the one foolish.
There's nothing much we can talk about anymore.
I'm sorry for everything.

Its almost 2 am already
and I can't stand the cold and my tiredness
back to bed I will be.
Praying everything will be fine for you.
I hope we will never contact each other anymore.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

What color is your energy?


Idealistic and full of spiritual power, you have one of the strongest and most influential energies. With a strong intuitive and psychic ability (though you may not know it), you have an effortless influence over those around you without them - and most likely you - even noticing. Every little change about you, be it emotionally or atmospherically will affect those around or closest to you. Few notice it - when people do start to notice, however, it makes them feel unsettled and unsure of you, so make sure to be careful with just how many things you change!

You have a very protective nature and often put others before you without thinking twice. Sometimes however you’ll find yourself questioning your actions and will try to change it - don’t. Not only are you selfless (to an extent), you’re most likely to be extremely empathic - maybe one of your friends is feeling low and they haven’t mentioned it? Doesn’t matter - something inside of you will click and tell you that something isn’t right. No matter what emotion they’re feeling, chances are you’ll feel it too and be able to carefully slip it out of them as to what’s going on.

You’re also creative to the extreme; often you let yourself escape reality and create new thoughts, worlds and ideals for you to live by and start to hate what’s real and long for what you created yourself. You’re a very passionate person who loves to feel inspired but when deprived of the things you love, you become difficult to handle, depressive and often self-abusive.

Remember: you’re full of intensity, and although a lot of the time it’s something that people gravitate towards, it can also push people away and make them not want to get any closer. Take care to limit how extreme your feelings and actions are, otherwise you may end up feeling quite alone.

Positive Qualities:
- Intuitive; empathic; open-minded; creative; somewhat selfless; compelling; mystifying; impulsive.

Negative Qualities:
- Tend to go to extremes; unbalanced; difficult; secretive; you can be quite manipulative though not always with cruel intentions; impulsive (not always a good thing!).

Monday, March 29, 2010

devil speaking in me~

2 years!
you kept me in sleep!
So do you enjoyed being an angel ehh?
I don't see you enjoying at all
I see everything you see
I feel everything you feel
I know your thoughts.
You felt SAD
you can deny
but you can't lie to me
none of your days are truly happy at all right?
you noticed your tears never falls?
because I'm not full asleep!
You kept me awake a lil
because you're afraid
and keep me as a protection.
you're a coward
I knew it all the while
afraid of all things
you should've let me awake
and I'll overcome the fear of yours
so you feel no fear.
You choosed to believe everyone
and now you finally realise
that you have to DOUBT everything!
like me, doubt every single thing
making you extra careful in all ways.
You gave ppl a second chance
but end up what did you get?
The whole thing repeated for the 2nd time.
Hurtful? Why la you so dump?
Be cruel,
show no mercy,
and they dare not repeat it anymore.
Who really cares bout this kind of friend anymore?
You gave up things for another's purpose
and end up you get nothing.
If its me, I don't care who they are,
save yourself is better than anything else.
You believe and fulfill your promises,
and none of their promises will be fulfilled.
What's the point of having faith on ass like them?
You believed your heart will be healed
you believed you found the right ones
you believed you can.
Tell me your results..
Your heart is made of glass
once broken it can never be like it used to be
you can never be healed!
You end up giving up on her
because I've showed you you're nothing to her
and continue to dream on if you don't believe.
Things you do, without my pressure,
you think you can do it?
Stop running away already.
Accept the fact that I, devil suits you more
I will make sure you have no more sorrow.
I'll teach you everything from the inside
and do as I command.
Be gone, angel
instead of keeping you in sleep
I shall vanish you.
He doesn't need any kindness anymore.
You've made him had enough of hurt.
I shall remove his heart
and be like me.
This is the world you're facing
Without me you can't survive.
welcome to the black parade.
it's time to bleed it out!

















I'm tired~
of everything~
where are you~
where is your love~
where is your feeling~
where is my feeling either~
where is my tears~
where is my handworking-ness~
where is my foolishness~
where is my aggressiveness~
where is my motivation~
where is my dream~
where is my laugh~
where is my kindness~
where is my freedom~
where is my faith~
where is my trust~
where is my love~
where is my aim~
where is my success~
where is my smile~
where is my sweetness~
where is my romanticness~
where is my crazyness~
where is my panic-ness~
where is my appreciation~
where is my heart~
where is my justice~
where is my sleepness~
where is my depressness~
where are my talents~
where are my true friends~
where am I going~

I totally don't know..

Friday, March 26, 2010































Thursday, March 25, 2010


Kenzo is a student
a professional designer and also an engineer
famous among his college
a top model too
that makes him one of the top 'WANTED' list among the girls

nice, perfect and good looking huh?
who ever knows what he had being through?
threatening, torturing and full of sadness past
until he feels no more hurt
and tears will never fall anymore
he has alot of master pieces at home
where each pieces, contains his memories
ppl who can understand it, will always leave with tears
and he only allows certain ppl to see it

in a particular day
when he is having a design competition
he met a contestant sitting beside him
smiling at him all the time
he can't stand the smile
and he keeps peaking at her
from that day onwards
he started to get close to her
obviously, he's interested on her
follows her everywhere and helps her every time
its been so long since he ever wanted to love

texting her, calling her on the phone
he treasures all the moment
but the girl never shows out how she feels
Kenzo often doubt she dislike him
sooner and later, he found out she had a crush
he's so upset bout it
avoiding her at all cost
and her best friend came to him
chilling him all the while
hoping he won't feel bad
ending up he started to like her
but he knows he couldn't
as she is already long taken
he forced himself not to go any further
but he couldn't

someone found out about this news
and the news is spread to the girl he chased
he was afraid now
afraid to lose her
he is also afraid to lose this other girl too
in confusion he stays
for months he had been like this
emo-ing all the while
he became very quiet in his life
and surprisingly he starts to sell off
all his master pieces he drew on spot
but these pieces of art
nobody can ever understands it
its very complicated
it brings confusion, love, and hatred

soon, he is absent for classes
which he had never done it before
lecturers and friends starts asking around
worrying of his disappearance
but no one every knows what happened
a month passed
and the secret is broken
Kenzo is already dead
according to the doctor,
he said that Kenzo always keeps everything inside his heart
as all the bad things added up
he couldn't stand it anymore
and when it burst
a heart attack attacks him
so that is the past he had
he tried not to be like that anymore
he always tries to smile
and be happy
until when he had the feeling of love
everything seems complicated already
he started to keep it all in again
drawing all his confusion out
hoping someone can help him solve it out
but none understands it
nor able to help him
he ended up keeping all in until it overloads
and it burst.

Kenzo died of heart attack
an unbelievable death of a talented student

personality test again~

You are very loved. Everyone finds you a welcoming, warm person. They look to you for advice and comfort, and someone to just have a good time with.

Your personality is seen as cliche and average, but in truth, you have talents and skills and ideas that no one has thought of before.

You are someone with style. You are good with colors, and you know how to color people's worlds and minds to your way.

You think new relationships are a coloring book, to fill them in with fulfilling conversations and meetings. You may seem nice and perfect and beautiful, you have a policy of "forgive but never forget". You always remember your enemies if you have any, and you know where to steer.

Sometimes, when you're completely lost, you are dependent on friends for help. You hope they'll be there for you, but sometimes you fear that they won't be. That is something you are afraid of. You are ready to give, but you are also ready to accept.

To many, it seems like you change your personality just for different people, but in fact, you are the one thing that's not changing. Other people grow on you, and grow fond of you, not the other way around. You are always yourself, and you are definite.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


msn connection problem
facebook account disabled
all there's left is here
the only place where I called home

In this devil world of mine
I could feel everything I've gone through once again
one of the worse
is that tears can't fall at all
suffering there quietly
and acting like nothing happened
is what I do best

I wanted to talked to you
but you did not reply my smses
I believed that you're busy with your stuffs
I don't wanna interrupt you
but I couldn't control myself for missing you
everything in my world seems blur now
its because I care
I care bout you
that makes me worry
and feels hurt for everything
all I could ever do
is staying far apart looking at you
praying for your best

passes very fast
and the past can't return
money can't buy either
sad memories in you
I hope you could forget it
I'm begging for your forgiveness
with that simple reason
I like you alot
I can guarantee it won't happen anymore
let time stalls
as I can't do anything more
if you could really find me on your own
I will definately be very happy
and I'm waiting for that day all the while
when someday you felt my disappearance
you'll feel that you need me
that's the day
I will confess...

outcome doesn't really matters to me anymore
we could do everything secretly
but its your choice
either we have fate
or we are fated not to be together
I will appreciate every piece of memory
we had all the time till now

Monday, March 22, 2010










Sunday, March 21, 2010

Truth beneath the grave~

the death of Henry the knight

everyone in the palace feels sad
villagers crying and children hide inside the house
everyone felt the lost of a hero

funeral to be held in 3 days time
where the whole country came
full of tears bout the lost
unlike the movies
this time rain does not falls
as if god doesn't feel pity at him at all

princess kneed down beside his grave
shading till she has no more tears
and there's a female tailor walked slowly towards the grave
along with purple roses, and left in on the grave
immediately, princess pulled her out the funeral
along with Aaron the knight
she knew
this girl know way too much bout Henry
as he loves purple roses
it is something where only ppl close to him knew

princess forced her to tell her everything she knew bout him
she starred at Aaron
and Aaron quickly looked away with tears
princess knew there's something hidden
something very big till he shaded
'I beg of you.. I just wanted to know the truth of everything..
What do you know bout him? Pls tell me, I beg of you..'
kneeing down and the princess begged
'I hope you listen and forgive him, princess...'
This is the truth that is suppose to be hidden :

I was working in my own shop
my father opened this shop since 30 years back
and 1 day, some robbers broke in trying to rob us
Henry appeared right outside the door
he slayed all of them even they begged for mercy
he smiled at us, and ask whether we're all injured
I broke my ankle and he decided to stay
and tries to heal me completely before he leave

3 days passed and my ankle hasn't fully recovered
Its been so long since I was been taking care like this
I was forced to marry my husband because we had no money
although he loved me a lot, but I don't have a single feel on him
he never ask for anything, not even a baby
and when Henry appeared, I felt love out from no where
on the day when I'm fully recovered
he said it is time for he to leave and return back to the palace
I hugged him and cried, begging him not to go
because I don't know how am I suppose to live without him
I've fell in love with him
we had a long hot kiss
and when we are going to do what we wanna do
he stopped
he dare not continued

'I'm sorry Trina.. I can't...'
'its okay.. I know your heart is with princess...'
I hugged him with tears
and he kissed on my eye
asking me not to cry
saying he will solve this fast
and I waited for him every night for a visit
he often overnight at my place
and went back to princess's room early morning

He loved you in first sight
but he loves me for my attitude
his heart was with you all the time
and suddenly I made him came to me
it is very hard for him.
He had being in a very hard situation
and he wanted to solve it fast
its too hard for him.
choosing 2 person he loves is a very hard decision
he cried every time he came over
and ended up sleeping with tears.
2 weeks passed and he still can't make any decision.

That day, he came over during midnight
he told me he's going for war
I knew he choosed to give up both of us
escaping and praying we both to have happiness.
He left with a kiss on my forehead
and he never came back.'

rain falls right after the talk
they both believed
that Henry is crying
because the truth is exposed
and he doesn't have to hide his tears anymore.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


山羊座 12月22~1月19


山羊的心就是一塊合氏璧,他們守心如玉,並用平庸掩飾,外人看來,似乎只是掩耳盜鈴式的防線,或者是安撫良知的最後一 道誓言,然而畢竟山羊守著的是心中對愛情的那份憧憬。無緣之人只看到外面的粗糙,當廢品丟棄處理,連歎息都吝於給予,只有等到一個有足夠耐心和勇氣的人, 懷著堅定的誠心,剖開山羊的內心,會發現居然如此驚豔,至此,不離不棄。

水瓶座 1月20~2月18


水瓶本純淨,有著清爽透徹的玻璃心,只是愛了,知道早已吃定了他,所以從來叛逆,蠻橫無理,只在心裏熱愛。不明白為什 麼要那樣去愛,以傷害來取代無處揮灑的熱情。是想被注意嗎,還是不傷害就不知道愛得深?水瓶摔碎了自己的心,用鋒利的玻璃渣刺痛著愛人和自己,深刻的痛感 勾勒著刻骨銘心。最後,愛人走了,水瓶想重新開始,卻總是忘了自己最初的樣子。

雙魚座 2月19~3月20


雙魚本想平庸快樂的走完人生這個輪回旅程,於是只讓透明的晶瑩蔓延,然而卻往往被生活蹂躪的接近枯萎。冷硬的外貌開始 湧現,任由時間去消磨生命的味道。終於釀成了一顆水晶心,裏面殘存著明媚的夢想,然後將厚重的外殼披上,應付情感中無法避免的傷痛,和這個世界的現實感。 這時,才發現,人生往往只需要一個頓悟,不可預見,只可遇見。

白羊座 3月21~4月20


羊兒的心原本平靜,甚至對感情有些冥頑不靈,只是某日一團火突如其來,之後無數次,羊兒坐在愛情劇院的一角,完全沈 浸。只有他,只有他能完全讀懂那上上下下如夜空中的煙花一樣耀眼的音階的全部意義,有一種感情曾經燃燒了一切。只是,當整顆心都付之一炬,連火星都不再飛 濺之後,羊兒的心從此就失落了,空蕩蕩的,可以聽到回音。



愛上了,就一頭紮進去,不管前方是刀山,將自己活生生的劈斷,還是火海,可以猛烈的燃燒殆盡,抑或是深不見底的汪洋, 就這樣心甘情願的腐爛,牛牛的心看似冷漠,實際上卻是最無所顧忌的勇敢。只不過往往還有一種結局,牛牛離愛遠去,卻忘了將心清洗,殘餘的剩渣在心裏慢慢變 質,最後發臭。牛牛發現,原來愛一個人,就是毀了原來的自己。

雙子座 5月21~6月21


雙子的心沒有安定感,恰似流動的沙礫,可以任意的在風的引導下變換姿勢和周期。一日卻意外的發現雙子的心中開了一朵 花,所有沙礫都滋養著它的嬌豔,如此堅定不移。之後,雙子寧願沒有之後,狂風又起,沙礫飛舞,竟渾濁了天地。忐忑的心已記不起,蕉樹下多少呢喃燕語。心就 如同沙礫從指尖流走,嘶啞的聲音,如低聲傾訴,純真年代的過去。

巨蟹座 6月22~7月22

起初巨蟹的心太清純太易被吹皺,一遇到風,就柔柔緩緩、急急匆匆泛起愛舟。後來,為所愛,自己的心突然間長滿了鬱鬱蔥 蔥一望無際的水草,織成一道燦爛輝煌的風景。再後來,或者如此山野爛漫下去,或者無端打開了缺口,奔湧之下,湮滅了所有。巨蟹很少會給傷害自己的人第二次 機會,因為他們的心是水做的,而有一個詞叫做,覆水難收。

獅子座 7月23~8月22

被他愛過,就休想逃脫。獅子是一把火。他要跟愛人一起玉石俱焚。如果有愛,就是獅子的全部生命,沒有愛,則一切都可毀 滅。他從來不要自己,獅子要的,是以火的姿態在愛裏焚燒的那個人。被他愛過,強烈的佔有過,還能愛誰?從此便只有百年孤寂。也許,獅子的心原本不是一團 火,只是在許久以前,為了一個人,不小心打翻了燭臺,從此焚心以火。

處女座 8月23~9月22

曾 醉在水鄉,任年華似水。怎料那寒冷襲來,就此心中冰天雪地,一幅拒人於千里之外的理智面孔掩蓋了躁動的纏綿悱惻。伸出手心,冰冷的雪花融化,如心臟的溫 度。似乎馬路對面,總會突然出現一個愛人模糊的影子,穿著許久以前的衣服,頭髮整齊或蓬亂,他帶走了處女座生命裏永恒的等待。處女座總是懷著一顆冰封的 心,等待著一個注定離散的人。

天秤座 9月23~10月22

天 秤座清雅浪漫,卓爾不凡,溫文儒雅,光風霽月,可以用康橋的柔波訴說愛戀,可以用自由的胸懷包裹著情感,也可以用漫長的一生印證愛情的永恒。他們的心時刻 閃耀著奪目的光芒,映照著自己的美好與華麗,無論遭遇怎樣的摧毀打擊,依舊如初,有著年少的夢想與固執的憧憬。也許,他們會在自己的心上鐫刻一個人的名 字,但那又如何,緣起緣滅,仍舊是顆金子般的心。

天蠍座 10月23~11月21


用 千百年的歲月來雕刻自己的心,風化了棱角,吹散了熱切,讓心擺脫了最初的模樣,揮別輕盈的搖拽,沈澱,積累,驀然回首,如那人仍在等待,算是一種安慰,萬 一人去樓空,蠍子情何以堪。把心打造成了他的樣子,便是回不去了,能做的只是留戀和回憶,並且這懷戀絕非良性,而是惡性循環,直到石頭千瘡百孔,被時間磨 成了粉,蠍子心的碎片,飄落在哪。

人馬座 11月22~12月21

人 馬可以短暫的和許多人享受愛情,卻不知道和其中的誰一路走去會找到幸福,於是便不敢選擇,生怕玷污了美好的回憶。當火熱過後,人馬的心便頃刻冷卻,冷得如 此徹底和義無反顧,讓人沒有回神的時間。他們堅定著自己的信念和冰涼走著,以為真的什麼都沒有留下,卻不知道自己的心早已是鏽跡斑斑,是記載著關於誰的往 事。

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A knight story~


we so call it servants of the king
they serve the king
war for the king too
becoming a knight has not much requirements
as long as you can fight till your last breath
you're hired

there's a boy
who feels no love
as his parents are dead because of war
everyone ignores him because he's an orphan
in his heart, he doesn't have the feeling of love
he took up the job to become a knight
as they provide foods and place to stay

'Henry the legend knight!'
all the soldiers shouted
bringing victory back to his own country
for defeating and conquered the land of the east
yes, he is the little boy
15 years of wars experience
and he had got promoted to be a knight
a knight that has never been defeated for 15 years
leading a total of 60 thousands soldiers
always come back with victory
and the least lose of soldiers

he is always cruel to the enemies
none of his enemies will die in one piece
but he is kind and sweet in the same time
he cares for everyone
he helps everyone in need in his country
all the villagers loves him

soon, one day
the king wanted to meet him face to face
he was so happy as it is the first time he's gonna see him
as he meet the king
the king offered him a high pay work
and Henry accept it without thinking
so he is allowed to stop parcipitate in wars for the next 3 years
tomorrow will be his 1st day of working

Henry waited outside the palace excitedly for the guards to direct him
and he is directed to a garden within the palace
beautiful flowers all around
with a small lake full of fishes
the guard told him
'your duty is to protect this precious princess that the king only had
don't ask why, and fulfill your duty'
the knight enters quietly and wanted to give her a morning call
on the beautiful and big royal bed
lies a gorgeous, pretty and lovely princess
with a pretty smile on her face even when she's sleeping
Henry immediately fell for her

'who are you~?'
the princess rubbed her eyes and said softly
'Henry the knight at your service'
she smiled
and command him to do lots of silly stuffs
the joys starts from here
everyday they have lots of fun playing around
and Henry needs to be with her 24-7
he couldn't resist the pretty smile she had when she's sleeping
and he looks at her face for the whole night
for the very first time
he felt love exist

one year passed
and they are always joyful everyday
on that very afternoon
when they are playing in the garden
a prince came close towards the princess
immediately Henry took out his sword
pointing it directly on the prince neck
'chill, legendary knight, I'm the son of King Jerry, prince John'
he withdrawed his sword and apologized
Prince John knee down and kissed the princess hand
and they walked around chit-chatting along with Henry guarding

day by day
prince John came to the garden
and princess will always smile when she sees him
Henry knew
prince John has stolen her heart
he also knew
that he could never be with princess
because he has no blood of the royal family
all he can do is protect her
and now, there's someone who can take care of her
loving her always which he can never do it
that makes Henry smiled
as long as princess is happy
he will always be happy.

So Henry told the king that he wants to go for war again
to serve the king and earn victories
he lied
that he's tired of taking care of the princess
the king said, that there's a final war with the north location
where there's gonna be a huge lose of soldiers
and he doesn't want Henry to die
Henry insists, and the king had no choice but to allow him
so he left for the war
leading all his loyal 60 thousand soldiers
off they go, heading north

few weeks later, princess found out that Henry has been missing
she asked the king where he is
and the king replied
'Henry went for war with the north empire'
'but dad, isn't that the empire that has war with us for more than 4 years
and till now there isn't a win or lose yet?'
'yes my dear, Henry said he's tired of taking care of you
and he promised to end this war and bring victory back'
princess cried when she heard that
'tired of taking care of me? why... what I've done to him to make him says that...'
she waited, and waited
outside of the main gate for him to come back

2 years passed
and princess didn't give up waiting for Henry the knight
and one day, the soldiers are all back!
princess immediately rush to the crowds
'we have end the war with VICTORY!'
all soldiers cheered loudly
and all of them went to enjoy themselves
princess start asking and searching for Henry the knight
but whenever she asked bout him
the soldiers will look away and ignored her
till when all the soldiers are all gone
stands a man in front of her
Aaron the knight, Henry's partner
she asked
'where's Henry? I don't see him anywhere'
Aaron sighed, looking up at the sky to prevent tears dropping out
and hand over her a letter
'its for you, my princess..
Henry sacrificed himself when fighting the king..'
and he walked away patting on her shoulder

'saying that this moment is the last to you whom i loved so much
even if you try to turn it back, even if you hold onto me crying, i was the one who said no and bid our farewell

i always act strong,
but i'm a cowardly man who didn't have the confidence to protect you forever and left

don't love someone like me again
don't make someone to miss again
one who looks at only you and needs only you
meet someone who loves you so much they can't go a day without you.. please

hurting, you try to hold me back,
but i'm a cowardly man who doesn't have the confidence to give happiness to anyone beside her

don't love someone like me again
don't make someone to miss again
one who looks at only you and needs only you
meet someone who loves you so much they can't go a day without you

even if we are ever to regret our breakup
i can't do anything but give you our farewell

don't cry in pain counting the time that's passed
don't miss a foolish love that's already passed
one who looks at only you and needs only you
meet someone who loves you so much they can't go a day without you..

please, i hope that you'll be happy
let's never meet again...'

now she realised
Henry loves her all the time
he was jealous and happy in the same time
he jealous, because she had met a prince
he was happy, because someone could take over his place
and take care her, giving her things he couldn't give as a knight
it is a forbidden love that Henry's going through
he lied he's tired taking care of her
because he is totally replaced by prince John
she doesn't really feel the presence of Henry since then
so he choosed to leave quietly
and vanish from princess memories
she cried out loud
she hoped she had realised it earlier
but everything is already too late.......

Monday, March 15, 2010

2 way road split

Leon was walking home
from the crowded city
back to his house in the woods
yes it is
it has been a tired day
he rushes home to have a great bath
and to have a beautiful sleep~

while he was on his way home
he meet 2 fairies
1 in green and 1 in red
both are lost and needed help to go back to their house
they stays near the woods
since it was also Leon's destination
so he agreed to bring them back home

as soon as he reaches outside the woods
the 2 fairies thanked him
and inviting him to heaven for a visit
swinging their wands
and 2 magic portals appear in front of him

the green portal

is full of trees
cold winds fresh airs
lots of flowers and butterflies
nature creatures all around
beautiful birds singing
as if its heaven

the red portal
is full of stones
dark and hot
team of bats flying around
demons starring at you
human shouting for help
as if its hell

if you are Leon
which portal will you choose?
pick your answer

so now
if i'm about to tell you
that you'll get killed by a stone giant if you choose the green zone
and you'll also get killed in the red zone
which path will you take?

not taking both?
what if you'll get murdered when you turn back?

times like this always occurred
where you have hard choices choosing the good and bad
and you'll end up regretting if you choose wrongly
if you ask me this question
i'll tell you
i'll choose not to pick any roads
and turn back
if i die in the portals
no ppl can save me
while if i die on the road
ppl can save me =]

Friday, March 12, 2010


In the heavens
stays devils and angels
devils territory is the whole west sky
while angels is the whole east sky
wars between them had been going on for centuries

one day
a devil name Luke is on a mission
to spy on angel's territory
so he hide beside a waterfall nearby their army camp
eating all the fresh fruits which can't be found in devil's territory
everything is rotten over there

soon, a female angel approached the waterfall to get some water
Luke saw her from the top of an apple tree
the beautiful waterfalls
warm sun shines
birds playing around the trees
while the beautiful angel knee down and fill her pot with water
such beautiful view
Luke hopes to draw this view out
with his gift talent, drawing
but devils are forbidden to use their talents
all they can do is fight, fight, and fight

Luke flew down and approach her
but the angel is so calm, starring at him
she did not even take a step back
'Don't worry, little angel
I will not harm you
Just that I couldn't resist such a beautiful view'
as soon as he finished talking
the angel immediately flew back to her camp
he is afraid that she will inform the soldiers bout his appearance in the angel's territory
so he hide within the waterfall

'Helo? Where are you devil?
Mr devil? I know you're still here~'
Luke peaks out of the waterfall
and she's standing beside the waterfall along with a sketch book, alone
he flew out
'Mr devil, can you draw out that view you meant?'
Luke is very excited
he was shocked that this angel actually can reads his thoughts
then he flew up to the apple tree and started drawing

he finishes his drawing in a lightning speed and he gave it to her
that piece of art, is the most detailed, beautiful and amazing artwork she ever saw
She pulls out her hand, 'Krystal'
'Luke', shaking her hand
Luke is surprised to know that angels are so friendly
so Krystal becomes the very first angel friend of Luke
Krystal promised not to show the art to anyone else
and so from that day, Luke came to the waterfall everyday to meet with Krystal

is a very kind, cute and sweet devil
he hates war
he likes peace
he loves drawing and singing
he also likes dark places
he likes lying down in the forest at night to enjoy the natures wind and air
and he is always dreaming and waiting for the perfect girl to appear

is an active, pretty and lovely angel
she hates war too
and loves peace
she enjoys seeing master pieces of ppl's arts
she also likes dark places to chill her mind
nature lover
married by force because of her parents
she doesn't love her husband at all and she's still a virgin
she's always dreaming for her perfect guy to come across

Everyday Krystal will bring along her home cook foods while Luke will be waiting within the waterfall
Luke just can't resist the warm foods
They falled in love
they both noticed that they are their own dream type of lovers
they started their relationship
2 different races which are forbidden to do so
but no matter how much they love each other
they can't even have sex
as god will punish an angel and demon child's parents
and kill all three of them

Luke always wondered whether he had made a very wrong decision
he scares he will regret about everything happen
but everytime he has this thoughts,
Krystal will kissed him
so that he couldn't speak
and says,
'my dear, don't think that much
I'm yours although I can't be with you
and shhh~
it is our little secret
don't let the flying angels around heard us~'
Luke lifted his head, calmed down by her beautiful voice
Only her voice could free his mind
Though it is only temporary, he is still glad
He is sure that she is truly the one
He would share his life together, forever
'Krystal, my dear, your always there
whenever I need you
Your always there for me
What would happen to me
If you were taken away from my side~'

Just as Luke finishes talking
The husband of Krystal came flying down
With his stare, sharp as an eagle
With his sword, furious with anger
'Krystal, how could you meet up with this imbecile being !
I was right to have someone following you
When you became unusually different
These past few days
I couldn't believe that you would betray me
You've disappoint our parents and
Especially me'
As Luke is about to be stabbed by Krystal's husband mighty sword
Krystal blocked the sword for him
the sword pierces through her directly at the heart
blood flows out from her injury and her mouth
her husband was shocked
he dropped his weapon with fear and tears

Luke hugged Krystal tightly
'why did you even do that...
you know this day will come...
I accept the fact that I will be slayed by your husband...
But why, do you block it?'
Krystal replied weakly
'Silly you..
There's only 1 reason...
I love you..
As simple as that..'
She smiled with a mouth full of blood
gently touching Luke's face
and she ends her breath

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A dream~

Your face
your eyes
your shadow
your voice
your smile...

free birds flying on the skies
blue sky and clear clouds
and a beautiful you right beside me
although we are walking on a busy streets
car hons everywhere and ppl making noises
in such crowded and noisy place
I still feel peace
and most importantly

to me
you're everything
without you
i'm liveless
because of you, I worked hard for our future
I gave you everything and make sure you're satisfied with all of it
I know you loved me like no one else too

You left me one day
I called you
I came to your house and find you
I even stopped working
but you never even pick up my calls
even if you pass by me
you didn't say hello as if i'm transparent
you have been treating me the same for 2 years
long enough that my heart are crushed into dust

I found out that you're getting married with someone
I cried out for 2 days long
I hide outside your wedding ceremony
looking at you
I missed that smile you gave me
and now you gave that smile to the person you're marrying
I'm jealous
and I cried once again
I dare not continue to watch it
so I left

Rain falls as I walked out
As if god is crying for me
I walked and cried under the rain
as I pass by the graves near the church
I decided to drop by my mom for a visit
I told me mom everything
Life's so unfair
and you left me without a word
out of sudden, a lightning strike right beside me and it hits someone's grave
I approach the grave
and I saw
my name on the rock
and I just found out
I was actually dead for 2 years already..

my hearts stopped beating
I was actually dead? I couldn't believe it!
so everything happened makes sense!
I was transparent after all
she couldn't see me
she couldn't even hear my outcry..
suddenly I got a flashback on what happened:

I was involved in a car accident
a car banged me from behind with a speed of more than 120km/h
I couldn't even feel the pain
Immediately I died
and yet I dreamt that I was walking home
along with the presents I bought for an exchange of your smile..
you cried right beside my bed when I was gone
every single second
your face is always full of tears..

I'm sorry my dear
now I know everything is just a dream..
I am happy
that you finally gain back the smile and really smile like the usual you
I am happy
that you found someone that can replace the dead me
because I can no longer take care of you..
I have been awake for 2 years in this dream
and now
its time for me to rest in this dream..
This is the very first and the very last time I'm saying it to you,
I love you my dear~
and goodbye~

As soon as I fall back into 'sleep'
her tears starts falling although she's smiling so happily..
22nd March
is your wedding
is also my death anniversary

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Because of you

today woke up later than usual~

I smsed with princess when she's in sunway having seminar
and she wanted to know bout my past.
So yeah, I told her everything
I thought, she would dislike me
I thought, all my efforts are nothing at all
I thought, that it ends here.
These are truely from my heart :
'I started to hate girls right after that.
Love in my life started to fade away and my life become lifeless.
I live according to my will and I ignored feelings of others.
To be very honest, after since I know you
I felt love once again from your smiles.
everything seems brighter in my eyes
and i got pulled out from the devil world of mine.
Thats where my blog name came from =]'

I know you smiled happily and for a very looong time, someone told me XD
but I'm happy to hear that, even I didn't see it, but I can feel it =]

came back to wangsa maju on evening
and my friend came over invited me to go swimming~
I was halfway smsing with princess and I forgotten to inform her bout it
so I went down swimming for bout 1 hour-ish~ *komenasai*
made her wait and wait and wait~
and she smsed me when i'm back
'wei~ no reply de~'
i'm sorry!

we then chat online till dinner time~
and so I went out for dinner with roommate and friends
when I'm back, she's not online anymore~
I called her =]
25 minutes of chit-chat
lots of laughter and smiles
although there isn't any topic at all
but my heart beat gets faster every single minute
Its because of you
You're the special someone that appeared
I do have special feelings on you =]
If I had that chance
I will hug you so tight now =3
along with a kiss on your lips

Good nite princess~
if only I could give you a good nite kiss~

Saturday, March 6, 2010





















working without a cert is hard
working with a cert and expecting high salary is even harder
jobless ppl is everywhere in Malaysia

buying a digital camera is expensive
buying a DSLR is even more expensive
ppl decided to use phone camera

Expressing yourself in words is difficult
expressing your love towards your crush in words is even more difficult
ppl often uses sms-ing or the middle person to help sending info's

just like me,
like a loser.

wanted to talk to someone I liked,
but no coverage at all,
like a small lil turtle.

silence is all I do,
scaring her and making her feel embarrassed,
and keeping her waiting for me to take an action.

I'm sorry gal,
I didn't mean to.

If I'm given the chance to redo everything:
I would ask you to come over and look at the theme I made for you
tell me its nice with a smile and you'll see me smiling the whole day
and I'll ask you to walk around with only me alone while my friends can walk themselves
lots of jokes and you'll enjoy it
and after the lunch we had
I would asked you to close your eyes
and given you a kiss on your cheek
a sweet memory you will never forget.

well anyway, we did a 'family' photo in pizzahut XD

and also.. first time revealing it..

my princess

Friday, March 5, 2010

Trust You

Like flowers dancing in the wind
Like rain moistening the earth
Although this world thrives on interdependence
Why do people hurt each other?
Why do we have to part?

Even if you're faraway
In the depths of this heart
Completely filled with that gentle smile
The pieces of you that I held tight
Are still connected in spite of pain, so
I believe that we'll meet again
I'm waiting for your love

I love you
I trust you
Share your loneliness with me
I love you
I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness
Because we're together we can believe in each other
Don't leave me

Who watched the world end?
Who proclaimed the end of the journey?
It's a long night, and we cannot see the answers
Still I hope you keep to the road you believed in
Because at the end, light is waiting.

The song that you taught me
Is still, in the deepest reaches of my heart
Echoing, along with that gentle voice.
Overflowing droplets of feelings
Warmly run down my cheeks
"Become stronger
We're connected"

I love you
I trust you
The tears I've shed for you
I love you
I trust you
Have taught me what love is
No matter how lost you get
I'll be by your side
I'm always by your side

No matter how lost you get
I'll be by your side
Because we're together we can believe in each other
Don't leave me

Wednesday, March 3, 2010






























於是男孩開始改變,變成女孩喜歡的那種 嘴角掛著壞壞表情。












Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Could I..

I can work hard in studies,
study hard and ask lots of questions,
I can finish up 5 past year papers without complain,
I teaches everyone who need help with and never gets it wrong.
But when the exam comes, could I...?

I can work many hours a day,
working hard to get promoted,
I can work all day without a break,
I help every colleague who needs help with all I can.
But when the manager gave me a project to handle, could I...?

I can play games 24 hours a day,
playing hard to become the top,
I can play without taking foods,
I kill players who kill low lvls until he dare not log in his account.
But when the top guild comes for guild war, could I...?

Everytime situation like this happened, I end up failing it..
I hated myself, and questioned myself, why..
I couldn't find the answer at all..
Is it over confident? Or too proud of myself?
Or is it I'm just unlucky?
Who knows? Probably...

Yet I get to know you..
So pretty and always with a lovely smile..
I tried to capture your heart with all I can..
Date you, sms you, call you, even making things by my own hands..
And now when I think further,
When the day I confess to you comes, could I...?

uhhhhhhh felt so stupid and useless -.-
1 thing I always done it right.
I never blames the outcome, and at least I tried my best. =3

if at the end you tell me that I'm still not good enough to be with you,
I just wanna tell you,
I love you like no one else ever loves you before =3